On the Poop Farm is on hiatus for a week. In the meantime, here's an article to check out.

Duke is cracking down on school sponsored drinking. The school will no longer help sponsor "Tailgate", the alcohol consuming gathering that takes place in a the parking lot before football games. I understand where the school is coming from, but forcing students to watch Duke football without the aid of alcohol is just cruel. Meanwhile the Duke athletic department is working on a new "code of values."

The Virginia attorney general's office has responded to the lawsuit filed by the major newspapers of the University of Virginia and Virginia Tech. The newspapers say their first amendment rights were violated by a law that prohibits alcohol advertisements in student newspapers. The Attorney General's recent comments defend the law saying it's constitutional because it "advances a substantial government interest." I guess keeping college kids from buying alcohol ranks right between peace in the middle east and improving public education on the list of substantial government interests.

If you feel that your classrooms suffer from a lack of cigarette butts and weird stains, then Boise St. might be the place for you. The University has purchased a University Inn to be their new College of Economics and Business building. I'm assuming they wont run into the same problems as Arizona St., who have protesters trying to stop them from destroying a building because it looks cool.

In other news...Ball State has started its own record label...The University of Tennessee is teaching soap making...Utah State is hosting a fiddle contest...

What's The Tougher Job--A Mascot Or A Groupie?

Think you've got what it takes to be a college mascot? It's not as easy as you think. Southeast Missouri State held mascot tryouts this week and students hoping to be the new Rowdy the Redbird were required to perform a three minute creative program in front of a panel of judges that included the band director and a theater professor.

A world famous groupie is holding a writing workshop at the University of Texas. The woman, who claims she "didn't just have sex" with the rock stars, is now an actress and a writer. Her visit doesn't quite have the prestige of a Hemmingway lecture, but it should be interesting.

NCAA Tournament Star, Ball Puncher, To Play in France Next Year

Tony Skinn, the testicle punching guard who helped lead George Mason to the final four has signed a contract to play in France next year. It will be interesting to see how Skinn adapts to French culture, where athletes take out their anger by head butting opponents in the chest instead of punching them in the crotch.

Super Clean Potatoes

The University of Oregon's main kitchen is washing their potatoes in a dishwasher with commercial chemical soap. Apparently for unknown reasons the University is exempt from county food safety standards that likely would prohibit the practice. A chef defended the procedure saying that things had been done that way for years and that it wasn't bad for the food or the dishwasher. He also added that this way nobody needs to do the dishes because they are actually being cleaned every time somebody eats potatoes.

Fifteen female students from Ohio State University have posed for a "Women of OSU" swimsuit calendar. The calendar is a great way to raise money for charity...except that that the calendar isn't for charity, the girls don't get paid, and the only one who benefits is Student Body University, a company that specializes in college swimsuit calendars.

Finally, the University of Memphis says it has fixed problems regarding the prostitution ring being run out of their student center. Nice work.

It's All Happening At The University Center

Student centers are full of many different activities and they provide a number of different services for students. Usually, prostitution is not one of them. However, that's not the case at the University Center at the University of Memphis. I'll spare you most of the details, but apparently a prostitution ring based on conveniently placed holes in bathroom stalls is being run out of the building. Overall, the students seem mostly unconcerned, even though according to the Memphis head of public safety, there is reason to believe this has been going on for 13 years.

In other news...University of North Carolina students may need a permit to buy kegs...The new University of Arizona president had a wild first morning...There's a reason why Bonaroo isn't held at Texas A&M...

Your Tuition Dollars At Work

The University of Tennessee has just spent $1 million on an organ. That right---a million dollar grand pipe organ. But don't worry; $750K came from just one family who apparently felt very devoted to improving the education of Knoxville's organ students. For those who really really like expensive organs, there's a webcam that shows the installation.

Meanwhile, the University of Oregon is going to spend $2,500 on a new bike rack. Any student can submit a design for the new rack whose purpose is to promote "environmental sustainability" and "look nice." It seems to me that the design most beneficial to the students would be a normal $200 bike rack with a $2300 pool table next to it.